Cardigan Meditations

I'm very excited to share about my brand new olive cardigan, but a picture of me smiling doesn't do justice to the difficult journey of making it. Creating has been wonderful for my mental health. With yarn therapy, my mind is able to switch gears and calm down. The consistency of repeating a stitch over and over is almost like meditation. Here's a little behind the scenes into my thoughts and reflections of this cardigan creation process.

Brokenness isn't permanent.

Crochet is very forgiving. When I make a mistake, I can simply tear out the yarn to go back and fix it. It's very disheartening to have to rip out my own work, but it's encouraging that there's always another chance to make something right. It has been a good reminder that when we make mistakes, we can go back and make it right.

Mistakes are inevitable.

Despite all of my improvement as a crocheter this past year, I still get frustrated and still get confused when creating something new. Despite making more than one Hobby Lobby trip to get more yarn because I had underestimated how much I needed, I still ran out of yarn for the sleeves. I had to adjust the pattern to work with the amount of yarn that I had left. No matter the amount of preparation or skill mastery, there are always snags along the way.

There is beauty in imperfection.

Things don't always turn out as expected. I was on the last sleeve when I realized I had been misreading the pattern and my cardigan looks different from the pictured example in the pattern. I made several mistakes throughout my cardigan and although they are not visible to anyone else, I know that they are there. I used the wrong hook size for a couple rows, didn't count my stitches closely enough, one sleeve feels longer than the other, and yet it's perfect.

Crocheting is not a race.

I've been in a season of transition. Going back to my full time teaching job has really sucked my energy and "crojo" (crochet mojo). If I would've made this sweater in the summer, I could've finished in a few days or a week at most. Instead, its taken 3-4 weeks. It's taken a lot of grace to myself to keep going and working on this sweater bit by bit. I feel guilty about how long I took to make this for myself, although there's no reason or pressure from my orders. I've made it a goal of mine to avoid fast fashion and buy things second hand or make them myself. There have been several times where I've been tempted just to buy a sweater because it's fashionable this season. Making this sweater myself was harder but I am excited to wear this thing I made and feel proud to show it off, much more so than if I would have just bought a cheap sweater from a store.

I'm grateful for this journey and all that my olive cardigan has taught me. I look forward to wearing it and being reminded of these meditations.

This cardigan is a free pattern by Hooked Hazel and can be found here: https://makeanddocrew.com/nearly-seamless-crochet-cardigan-pattern/